It was about three years ago, the day I saw so many robots in disguise fighting, and transforming; and some were good and some were evil. That was when I was a big Transformers, fan and that love in me still exists today, just not very over the top as it used to be.
That was what sparked me as a Transformers fan, that very moment, almost just like the time I discovered Lordi three years later. It was Optimus Prime that reached my heart not long after.
It was because of his compassion, bravery, and appearance. Enchanting, as I would describe it. It’s funny how just one character in a movie can make you a fan instantly. Transformers ruled my life from summer 2009 to late 2012, but still is a part of me now. I found it one helluva a struggle sometimes, due to the things I dealt with.
Optimus was and still is one of my inspirations, and maybe some people in today’s society find it immature to look up to a fictional robot, but I never cared.
I started up a YouTube channel expressing my inspiration for him; some parts romantic and others intense.
That was what my YouTube channel was about before I changed it to a vocal cover channel in late 2012. And you know what happens when you express these kinds of emotions for a fictional robot? Some may like it and others may not. Some idiots said I was delusional, when they have failed to realize that I knew perfectly well that these things are not real.
I went into drama; I went into role-playing, and was in, at one point, in a romantic relationship with someone role-playing as Optimus. This was the tipping point for me and it lasted for two years.
No one, not even my family knew about this going on. Most of the time, I thought he was unfaithful to me, and that he was afraid to give me affection. I know it may seem like a waste of time to pursue a relationship, through role-playing between myself, and someone I don’t know who is pretending to be a fictional character I look up to.
Optimus inspired me to have more compassion in life, and today I still continue to improve that part of me. But this relationship, I was young, gullible, and emotional like any other girl my age. It was almost as if I was in a real life relationship.
There were many heartbreaks, such as times when he did not answer me, due to constant working, which was, at first, hard to believe but after a year I understood. Also he hid his feelings from the world to protect me, which I was at first not aware of either. He rarely gave affection, due to his fear of hurting me, even though I told him that gentleness and my trust in him would prevent that.
Finally, he had public affairs with other role-players to “help” them with their personal struggles, while keeping everything with me private. Some of those things I thought were hurtful and silly, and through all that I stayed with him, until one day I almost left him, but he came back for me.
I took him back but despite that, part of him was unfaithful, because he was still doing those public affairs. I confronted him once again, and then finally we cleared every problem for good hopefully, and I was ready to began anew, but now he seems to have gone again, and has been for a long time now.
I do not know if he has either given up, and has gone on a place where I cannot find him, he has given up on role-playing entirely, or he saw the way I changed when I began liking Lordi, and just left without me knowing but my heart is not broken over this.