If I Was a Singer

I have always imagined what my life would be like if I was famous. Sometimes I wonder if it will involve a horde of fans who can’t give me any privacy, or just a small, but loyal following.

When I was 14 I started writing my own lyrics based off of melodies from songs that I was listening to at that time. One of the first was based off of Kelly Clarkson’s Addicted. In class, I would get away with having a Word document out where I would write the lyrics while working on my project at the same time.

My version of that song was called Consumed, which was inspired by my favorite manga at that time: Dream Saga where the sun goddess Amaterasu would be devoured by the god of destruction; a dragon named Susanoo who is also her brother. It was her duty to be consumed once the world became too contaminated. Prior to this, she would choose a successor known as the horizon girl to become the new sun of the spiritual and physical world.

This of course is not how the legend goes if you were to read Japanese myths though, again it’s taking what resources you have and creating your own thing.

Both Addicted and Consumed are very different lyric-wise, it is the same melody with many words changed. For example, here’s a snippet of what I have written for Consumed:

There’s no way out
(there’s no way)
I cannot escape, cannot fight back
Is this a dream?
(it’s no dream)
Take me to darkness deeper that have been
There’s no way out
(there’s no way)
Without falling to the abyss
I am gone
(I’m not here)
I am lost
(don’t save me)
I’ve been devoured
I’ve been consumed

One time in my computer class, my teacher saw me writing that, and she didn’t say anything even though I had already finished my work for the day. I had no idea she was looking until my mom said she got a call from the school and talked to me. She thought I was experiencing suicidal thoughts. That made me realize it was about those lyrics. Yeah they may sound like that, but no I was not having such thoughts. So I had to explain that it was just lyrics to a song that did not, in any way, represent how I was feeling about life.

If I were to sing this for you from beginning to end, it would be from Amaterasu’s perspective in the manga in her final moments before she is devoured.

Once I put that together, I started to picture a music video whenever I listened to Addicted where I was Amaterasu singing in her sky castle and then Susanoo arrives, destroying it and consumes her leaving everything dark.

Eventually, I started taking more songs with female singers and writing my own versions if I liked the melody or the lyrics. It started with pop and eventually symphonic metal songs came in as well.

Many of those songs I wrote were either about my fictional crushes or my idols. One of the most recent that I wrote was inspired by Tove Lo’s True Disaster where my own version was called True Devotion. The lyrics were about how I didn’t care if my admiration for Mr. Lordi was viewed as strange by the way I expressed it, how it was different compared to who others idolized, or how it was underestimated because of his appearance.

In the music video I would be singing and walking around the streets of his hometown Rovaniemi visiting places related to Lordi such as the square named after the band. It wouldn’t be meant to stalk him, but to just admire the scenery and feel the moment of being in a place where my idol was born. How many of you ladies would get a little excited if you stumbled into the hometown of your idol? Even if they don’t know of your presence, still you get what I mean right?

It seems that every song I wrote was part of who I am in a way, who I admired, or the different things I loved.

So, that brings me to the question related to the title of this post. What if I was a singer?

Well, to put it this way, yes those songs I have written I would use, and the most unique thing I have come up with for this fantasy is what I would wear on stage and filming the music videos. I always imagined myself wearing costumes mainly of characters I love and idolize. Many of the costumes would consist of a lot of pieces like armor almost. One in particular would have to be that feminine Didact armor.

That brings me to the point, that if I was a singer, costumes like that would not just be for expressing love for a character but also because I wouldn’t be the type of singer who likes to show off her body. Don’t get me wrong, I like my looks, but if I was famous, I want to be valued for my personality and talent, not my looks and sexuality. I don’t want to be objectified. That is why the only part you would get to see is my face.

Even though there still may not be a way around that objectification in the music industry, even with the costumes, still.

I would write all of my music, from the lyrics to the melody. Performing and recording the music, I would probably have to find people willing to play instruments as I would be going for symphonic metal. I would be a solo artist like Tarja Turunen, except I have a different voice.

So where would I have my music distributed? Well, I am someone who values how fans support their favourite singer or band. You know what that means? It means that if I was a singer, unfortunately I am NOT allowing my music to be available on any streaming services like Spotify or Pandora. I will probably write in a separate article why I won’t ever use those services later on.

However, my music would be available on places like iTunes and Google Play Music for fans to buy, and of course fans would be able to buy the physical album from any record store and my website! I would encourage my fans to buy my music and not download…. yes that includes conversions on YouTube whenever the music videos and lyric videos are uploaded there.

I still stand by my words that downloading music and streaming eventually leads to bad impact on musicians and record labels financially and being able to make new music if this stuff keeps getting bigger.

There is a good chance that due to my strong values, different direction of music, and visual image on stage and in music videos…I won’t be as famous as Lady Gaga (yeah she wears outrageous stuff too but it’s not influenced off of certain characters) or Justin Bieber. But, I might end up attracting a niche following which I seem to do here.

The pros to that is that I would be able to interact more with my fans; which is already what I do here. I could even come out directly after the shows to hang out with them and my management may not charge them a lot or anything to meet me!

The cons however, I wouldn’t be filthy rich so it wouldn’t be easy to tour many places in the world but over time as demand grows, eventually that would be possible!

So, what else is there to say if I was a singer? I would hope to do a few…..ummmm…. what do they call those things when you do songs with other artists and bands? Well, whatever it is called, it would be a dream come true to do it with my favorites, or if they wrote songs with me! I know what you’re thinking Emily!

I still fantasize about this happening sometimes, but the closest I get is picturing myself singing those songs I made up based off of their original counterparts when I listen to them, or when I sing them to myself as I go about my life. 

But then again, I’ve said it regarding blogs vs. videos so I might as well say it again. I’m glad I’m not famous. Sure, yeah I wish my blog got some more visitors that interact with me than it does right now, but I don’t need it to grow to a large number to the point where I can no longer track who’s being nice and who’s having problems and wants to take it out on me. 

Frankly, being too famous would also bring in the people who just swoon at the sight of me and don’t even know how to make a civilized comment on the Internet. (is that the right word to use?) But, other than the online world, if I was too famous, I wouldn’t have time for any of my friends that I currently have; as everyone would pressure me to only hang out with other famous people which is complete bullshit. There would be a lot of things in my current life that I would miss! 

However, I guess those above would not apply if I was a singer that wasn’t internationally successful yet!

For now, I’m just happy writing here, picturing my music videos in my head with the costumes, and writing song lyrics. 

What would your career be like if you were a singer?

👽Emily