Memories Resting Calm in Me

Today felt like one of those days and we all have that at some point.

I think it all started with that nightmare I had being surrounded by caterpillars and hanging cankerworms. I was unable to go back to sleep afterwards.

My morning went fine but only halfway into my shift did I realize I had forgotten a few things before heading out the door.

When I was on my way home, I thought I’d cheer myself up by buying some lottery tickets and scratch cards, only to find that I didn’t win anything….. which is mostly expected unfortunately.

After tackling the things I had forgotten to do in the morning, I thought about killing a bit of time by playing Andromeda for an hour or two. Everything was going fine, I was working my way towards getting an outpost on Kadara until the game decided to freeze while auto-saving.

Like any Skyrim fan, I would often prevent this by deleting old save points. But, as I rebooted Andromeda to try that, first the main menu did not load and was stuck with that rotating double ring that appears when something is loading on the title screen. I try to reboot the console and this time upon, re-inserting the disk, the console decided to shut itself off and I couldn’t get the disk out for a few seconds. I didn’t know if this was a crash incident or just a major bug in the post-patch phase since there was one recently added by BioWare.

On the brink of anxiety, I managed to retrieve the disk and checked for scratches. Thankfully there were none and only then did I realize that I had to step back from the situation for a bit. (At least I have warranty if worst comes to worst, and thankfully game consoles today allow you to buy digital copies download copies too)

The thing about technology is that when something goes wrong, we become desperate to fix it immediately to get back to whatever work or entertainment we were doing. I looked online to see if this was a common issue and then made an attempt to remove myself from the situation. Unfortunately, that didn’t seem to help when I had to go mow the lawn.

It seems that whenever I’m anxious about something, I’m crabby and forgetful as I started to mow the lawn, I never noticed the lid for the gas compartment was still open. In panic and frustration, I ran back inside and couldn’t handle the job due to my anxiety after turning the machine off.

I don’t know what I’m more upset about, the fact that I couldn’t play Andromeda, or I failed to calm myself down when I couldn’t play. Maybe these events were meant to be signs that I needed to take a break from the game for a few days, or weeks. We all need to do that at some point as gamers; even if we are in progress of playing through a character we have made in RPG. It’s like major glitches are signs that we’ve been playing too much. We get frustrated at first and rush to try and find the solution, but only then do we come to the conclusion that we need to do something else for a bit. The game isn’t going anywhere and if we’re not alone, then hopefully the issue would be resolved.

Hell, I remember my computer decided to randomly restart when I was in the middle of doing a math test online, and I found out some other people had experienced that months ago!

I just wish I could have handled the situation better, but at least it was better than I handled these things in the past like how my computer had issues two months ago. I’m learning and actually making an effort to do something about my anxiety….. without drugs!

I think this weekend I should just focus on keeping busy and taking up some other hobbies that keep me in a calmer mood. Other than writing that calms me down: I have started drawing. Then, hopefully when we are ready to return to the issue it’ll either have been resolved or we’ll be able to find a solution and fix it.

Game glitches suck, and so does having a bad day.


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