Another month has gone by, and to be honest, this one was difficult to get through. I was hoping it would be a month full of getting serious about my work, tackling projects (personal and professional), and just preparing to make any sacrifices so would ensure this would go as stress-free as possible.
That was not the case, I started to feel like a dark cloud was hanging over me and lost motivation to write. My only sources of happiness were my music, and playing video games. As I slowly regain that motivation, I have songs reflecting on how personal moments that have impacted me thus far.
5. Trevor Morris – The Dawn Will Come
This month, it starts off with some video game OSTs. Earlier, I decided to expand my horizons and began to explore the Dragon Age universe, starting with Inquisition. It’s a fantasy game full of deep lore and epic moments. There is still much that I do not understand, and I feel like whenever I play, I don’t fully read everything, such as codex entries, instructions how to do things, and I eventually figure it out on my own or have to recap by looking up online. This song is sang by the survivors of the attack at Haven, to me it is a sign of hope that things are about to change. I felt like hearing this gave me some of that when things began to go downhill. The music that I have heard in the game so far is great and my friend told me not to listen to anything in it that I have not heard in-game yet! I was originally going to put the music that plays when we meet Corypheus for the first time, but I couldn’t find it. (villain music is always the best ahaha!) I’m hooked onto this game, even though I’m still putting pieces together about everything in the lore, factions, tales, etc; I consider that normal on the first play through of a universe new to me. I will definitely write about it when I complete it.
4. Demi Lovato – Heart Attack
It is the perfect time for me to insert this song. I’ve been listening to it since 2013, and Demi is one of those singers that made a smooth transition from Disney to an adult singer. She’s the one who has got power in her voice. There are two types of female singers in the world: ones that have sound to their voice that makes it powerful and capable of talent, and ones that just sound like they don’t have any feeling to it. Sadly, it seems like society is more prone to love those with voices that just sound neutral and not unique. The same applies to pop songs that have a repetitive chorus. Demi has had one song that was a bit repetitive, but I liked it regardless. Whenever I discover a character that seems attractive with an interesting personality in any franchise, and begin to like them, I start to suspect I’m going to fall in love with them. This song is about how you’re trying to avoid love because you don’t want to go through another heartbreak if you’ve had one already. To me, it’s when I feel I’m about to start crushing on another fictional character, but I don’t want to admit that I like them at first (well, at least to my friends that is). This could come from a memory or dream, or it may come from one I was just introduced to, hence I skip the memory stage! I know who it is and where he’s from!
3. Disturbed – Crucified
This is, for me, one of the most powerful Disturbed songs that reflects my life when things do not go as planned. I had bought the album years ago, and this was the song other than the title track that I cranked up. The melody and lyrics are so powerful to me and I just want to belt it every time I hear it, even if the song has a sad feel to it. It is said to be about how you feel when you just went through a break-up, you were too attached to that person, and you feel you are stuck as if nailed to a cross and you can’t move on. When news broke that it was official that all the colleges in the province, including mine, were going on strike, all at once, I was angry and then devastated. I was tired of push backs and just wanted to get there like my friends had. Without any control over the situation, and the uncertainty, I felt like someone had nailed me to the cross and I could not move forward down the road of success. I continue to pray for a resolution ever since. (I’m not religious but still)
2. Lordi – Monsters Keep Me Company
This was originally going to be #3, but Lordi has its ways of healing me when times are tough, so they get bumped up a notch. As I tried to go forward as the strike dragged on, Lordi has been my only source of happiness so far. They were the only ones that could make me smile: whether it was their songs, interviews, my friends teasing me about them, or just thinking about them and my memories. I chose this song because it gives me the feeling that Lordi is always with me, no matter where, and even in the darkest times. They don’t have to be with me physically, but in my mind and heart, they are. It’s when I look at my picture with them on my night table, I hear Mr. Lordi’s encouraging words, and their music plays. It doesn’t matter what Lordi does or says, there will always be a way for them to put a smile on my face. Given the current situation my life is in, it reminds me of the time Lordi was struggling to get a record deal. Mr. Lordi said that after the record label that was to release Bend Over and Pray the Lord, went bankrupt, it took another ten years for the band to get another record deal to release Get Heavy. This song is just a way of reminding me that I can get through anything as long as Lordi is with me in my mind and my heart. I think about them and listen to their music, and then I’m happy again.
1. Iced Earth – Anthem
This song is definitely my go-to when I’m going through a hard time. Back in 2014 when some things were difficult, this was the song I turned to the most. It talks about, in my opinion, people with different struggles, and they must find a way to have hope. What are the things you have in life? They outweigh what you don’t have. The lyrics are powerful as hell, and it’s the bridge that speaks to me the most about what I want to make my life. We may be in a difficult situation, but we can choose how we want to through it. Take the example of the single mother, it seems like she is struggling to make a living and feed her kid(s), but does she let that destroy her, does she?. Right now I’m in them midst of choosing my attitude about this strike, and this song is making me lean towards allowing myself thrive rather than be destroyed. I try to think of the things that I have, and it is difficult because the thing I do not have is something critical to success in life: a career, which is being held hostage in this situation. But things could always be worse right? What if I didn’t have a roof over my head and no food on the table? Exactly.
And that’s another set of this month’s songs, it feels really personal, and anyone in the same situation can relate. I just hope going forward that November is a better month, and I get my semester back before reaching the middle of that month!
Until then, happy Halloween!
👽Emily
Monsterlady's Diary 