I’ve been planning to write this for a while and in the beginning I thought not to because I don’t like to talk about real-world events on my blog that put stress on everybody’s shoulders, including my own, but sometimes, I do have to let it out for the sake of my mental health.
As you know, I frequently cope with things like this by not writing or posting about it in any shape or form because it triggers my anxiety and makes me irritable where I might say things that I don’t mean. I have to force myself to not read the news since it serves as a trigger, so I pretend it doesn’t exist outside of work, block it out in my mind by singing to myself if I have to, until I can retreat into my happy place where only my passions exist. I have also significantly cut my social media usage because of it now and the increasing amount of politics combined due to the US election. Despite living in Canada, I still have to put up with it.
The moment this pandemic broke loose, the one thing I despised about it the most was that it put the world of entertainment to a screeching halt. I love anticipating new movies, TV shows, video games and especially music from my favorite bands. With a pandemic, that meant no tours, concerts, nothing. It’s like 2020 has given me nothing to look forward to and it breaks my heart.
As an introvert, I looked past it at first and focused on the fact that I could spend more time in solitude which I love; I could play more video games when not at work, give myself facials every other night if I wanted to, or engross myself in my Kobo Clara or my Necronomicon. But, as time went by, I realized how much I missed looking forward to things I loved in the outside world like being able to go to concerts when possible.
I don’t go to concerts as often as most of my friends do since my job is really demanding, and I’m quite selective with what I go to, but when I do go, I make the most of it. Now, it frustrates me to the core of my body that everything I love to do outside the house, has been made either impossible or not the same anymore because of this coronavirus.
Just last month, I was sitting in the waiting room for a long-awaited appointment and when I checked Facebook, I discovered that once again, Orden Ogan’s Final Days (as you know I’ve been looking forward to it so much because Orden Ogan is the latest band to enter the most sacred place in my heart alongside of the other four bands in there, and after the first breathtakingly awesome single, I was pumped as hell for the album) was pushed back further from this November to March of next year. I didn’t know what to say, but at that moment I felt like my heart was going to burst as I sat there. Inside, I was raging and after my appointment, I walked home listening to GWAR to prevent myself from yelling to the heavens how frustrated I was (They have always been my go-to band for anger management!). When I was safe within the walls of the house, I screamed into my pillow and wept a little.
I wanted to scream louder though, how one of my favorite things in the entire world: heavy metal, was being disrupted like no tomorrow by a single non-living parasite that could not be contained. I just wanted some new music to listen to this year, I just wanted to have something exciting to look forward to that would serve as a form of escape. But no.
I knew it wasn’t the band’s fault, perhaps it was also another factor that came into play such as not all the songs were 100% ready or even recorded at that time. If choirs were required, then yeah I blame COVID-19, but if was the former, that would be a little more understandable.
A message from Seeb came out earlier about the decision and while there was no mention of the virus, he did say that he felt like not everything was ready. Even just words like that give me some closure, I mean, would you want YOUR favorite band to put out an album that is rushed to a point where it could sound much better? You’d want it to be perfect and complete.
I’ll get over it, but still it’s hard when you’re extremely eager for something new from a band you love.
I always ask, is there anything that isn’t affected by this pandemic? Music is one of my forms of escape from stress in life, when I cannot always sit down to play video games, music is what I turn to and I could really use something new from a band I love, no matter the band. Now that there have been delays, they have upset me and it’s like my heart cannot take this much longer. The last thing I want is to break down because of this.
It turns out a lot of artists have pushed back their album releases because of this.
Lady Gaga, for instance delayed her album release this year and she stated that it didn’t feel right to release it at its original due date because of all that was going on and it came out seven weeks later.
While I can understand what she means, I also disagree. Yes we should be making sure we are staying safe no matter our current life situation, but there also comes a time were we just want to get away from it all and disconnect from reality for a little while. A new album by your favorite artist or a new season of your favorite show can be a great way to do that.
We shouldn’t pause everything just because of this. I mean, concerts are one thing, but album releases are not impossible during a pandemic, at least in my mind. I don’t think that if Gaga put out her album on its original release date, no one would pay attention because they’re too stressed about the pandemic, I think a lot of fans would still buy/stream it. But then again, she’s probably doing it also because of how much money she’ll make, but what I’m saying is we shouldn’t halt everything in the entertainment world because of this. If things can be done safely like album releases, why not continue with that so we fans can still have something to enjoy and disconnect from this fucked up world for a while.
Oh and let’s not forget that the convenience of technology has made it much easier to put out new music digitally on streaming services and digital stores if you want own it like me. A pandemic shouldn’t impact that!
I know that some of my friends have suggested that I should take the opportunity to discover new bands in a time like this, but when my anxiety is at this level, I would prefer to just focus on something I’m already familiar with right now since it is certain to calm me down than something unknown to me is. So that’s why it upsets me so much that the world is on such a pause and I don’t have much to look forward to.
Music can be a great way to help with one’s mental health, it can heal anxiety and soothe depression if you let it take you in. Whenever there’s new music coming, it makes us cheerful and excited where it’s all we can think about, it makes us forget about our worries and strife.
I don’t think we should just stick our heads in the sand, but limit how much exposure we have to the media and how much we talk about these things. We need new music now more than ever, I do, there’s never been any better medicine for my mental health than music and now that the pandemic is making it even harder for me to have that. I’ve managed to keep my cool for this long, but when I broke down learning one of my favorite bands delayed their album release a second time, only proves that I might lose control again.
That’s why I’m writing this now, to make you aware how the pandemic is affecting everyone’s mental health and this is one of the many ways it affects mine. The other things that contribute is my lack of ability to show self-expression. I enjoy wearing makeup and having to put a mask on makes that harder, especially when lipstick is one of my favorite parts of it. Also, living with autism, I can no longer recognize people’s facial expressions and miss seeing everyone’s smiles when it was easier for me to tell when someone’s happy or sad.
Do you feel the same way? Are you sick and tired of something you love being heavily impacted by this? It could be your favorite show or something do tell me.
I’m glad that at least Nightwish was able to put out a new album before all hell broke loose so I’ve been enjoying that one lately.