I’m back again. I didn’t do this last month because of a lot of personal issues and losses I was going through. Even though I had all the songs lined up, I realized that I was just too upset and had all these tearful tunes that would risk me revealing a lot of things that I wasn’t willing to share.
I’m feeling somewhat better now, so it’s easier for me to pick for this month. I broke my streak but sometimes it’s necessary when my mental health deteriorates when something doesn’t go as planned. Here are the songs for May, some of them were originally meant to be for April.
Starset – My Demons
A bit of modern stuff. This isn’t something I listen to, it’s more of something that my brother would listen to while driving. These guys remind me of Breaking Benjamin and I heard this song when my brother gave me a lift home, this song was playing as he drove.
As I listened it, I was reminded inside of how I was trying to recover myself after what’s happened in my professional life. I’d rather not say what it was but this song was playing in my head as I grieved and slowly started to pick myself up again to where I am now, at acceptance. You may realize that I don’t like to talk about the details because I want to keep it separate from what I do here.
That being said, the song is pretty good, it’s very relatable and that’s how it stuck to me for this long already.
Within Temptation – Memories
Why does this band have so many beautiful songs and music videos? This one makes me want to cry as it causes me think of the people I love that I’ve lost.
Last month one of my cats had to be put down, it was either that or have a surgery with a small chance of survival. Never wept so hard in my life when she went over to Rainbow Bridge that day, but at least she went peacefully.
She and I were so close and I still miss her everyday. I still have my other cat, her brother, but I know he misses her too.
This lovely song does make me think of her right now and know she’s no longer suffering.
Not so long ago, I started singing this song again. This probably my favorite song from the Tarzan OST, (I love You’ll Be In My Heart too but this is the one I think I love to sing the most)
I love how it takes place in the part of the film when Tarzan starts to learn more about being human and civilization. Jane teaches him how to read, he teaches her to swing on vines, and their feelings begin for each other grow. It’s just a powerful moment in the movie and it’s why it’s still one of my favorites today. The melody and lyrics go with the scenes perfectly.
Khalid and Normani – Love Lies
I had a dream one night that I was driving and I this song was playing as I cruised down the freeway. I was singing it and it’s one of my mom’s favorites, once again, it goes by too quickly but it is catchy.
That’s right, another thing that has been going on is that I’ve finally decided to learn how to drive again. Before I went back to college I was pursuing my license, but then my program started up so it went on hold and then expired. Now, I intend to do it again and this time complete the process.
Most of the time whenever I have dreams about driving, car goes out of control, but in this dream I was driving like I had been doing it for years. I didn’t think I needed to drive in my life, but after thinking long and hard about it, I realized that my life was headed in a direction where driving would make it much easier, so yeah, wish me luck.
Nightwish – Noise
Oh yes, since I finished this month watching Nightwish’s virtual gig, it’s no wonder this song is in here! They opened that show with this song so yeah. Its sound caught onto me right away that sounds great and it’s probably the creepiest music video I’ve seen from Nightwish, definitely not what I expected. But it and melody and lyrics say it all in its meaning.
It’s like how addicted we are to the Internet and the different things we expose ourselves too. I think Floor represents the new moms of this generation (some of them I went to school with) who are constantly posting pictures of their children starting with when they’re born, up to today and beyond. Troy plays some part in that as well.
The blonde gal is apparently some Finnish Instagram model and you don’t have to guess what Internet addiction she has in the video.
Marco embodies the amount of commercialization on the Internet. Have you ever scrolled through Facebook and stumbled onto an ad that says “Take this capsule and you’ll never get acne again!” that sort of thing. Yeah, been there done that and I don’t fall for that shit. He’s then seen later on worn out from everything he promoted, fell for. Poor guy.
Tuomas is enacting those who use the Internet to be the big advocate for change. He’s seen as an environmental activist hugging trees, kissing tiny animals, and waving signs around while dressed in an outfit embroidered with plants. In an interview, he stated that at the time of filming, he had a bad cold so he spent the second half of it in a bath covered in oil and a gas mask, I guess he got tired of wearing all those leaves because they started to make him sneeze after a while!
Of course, the song and video are not an insult to technology itself but how addicted we get to it that we forget what’s in the outside world too often.
That’s it for May, I sometimes wish June would never come based on what’s going on with me right now, but we sadly have not invented time machines yet.
But Garrus would tell me, I’ll get through this, I always do.