Music and Bands

After Death, Okay To Love?

Here’s a thought for the day. I was contemplating it for a while. You know, we all have crushes on famous people: Musicians, actors, models, etc. they fill us with emotions that can’t be experienced any other way.

Even if they never know we exist, it makes us happy to watch them do their thing or get to know them personally through things like interviews.

But what about if that person has passed away? We can still honour them, but does it seem awkward to still have a crush on them after death?

One of my friends that I met in high school, she was (and still is) a chatty person to be around and one of the first things I learned about her was that she had a crush on Michael Jackson who’s been gone for a while now. I thought it was cute because he was a legend and I still listen to his music occasionally.

I mean, it’s one thing to have a crush on a celebrity who’s married and fantasize about it, as long as you recognize the boundaries should you meet them in person. But if they’ve already left the Earth, it’s completely different as you won’t be able to see them and interact should the opportunity arise. I find myself in that situation as I finally pushed myself to get into Motörhead for real this time, as I got to know their music from their massive amount of discography, I also would get to know them as people.

Even though Lemmy passed away in late 2015, I began to get to know him more. There’s not a single interview I’ve seen where he isn’t smoking or has a drink in his hand! But he seemed like such a humble and funny guy, and a gentleman with good advice, especially what he said regarding politics! Then, without warning, I developed a crush on him.

Two of my friends detected it immediately and I felt ashamed at first because all of the other famous people I am attracted to are still alive, but Lemmy isn’t anymore. It felt so strange, that feeling of knowing for sure that you can never interact with someone who’s gone, and to fantasize about someone who passed away well, sure I sometimes fantasize about seeing my nana again who died in 2011 but that’s a different story.

I even had dreams where I was singing at a cemetery which resulted in me inadvertently resurrecting him and it’s funny because he was actually cremated when he died so would it be like ash rising out of the ground to reform him?

Regardless, I still liked the fact that I had this crush now and didn’t try to fight it because I did like him as a person and a musician. He had a great sense of humour, was kind, did what he loved to do, and never cared what anyone said about him.

But again, I guess it all comes down to this. No matter who the celebrity is that you’re attracted to, dead or alive; as long as you’re not hurting anyone, letting it take over your life, or God forbid, harming or killing yourself for them, then it’s normal to fantasize, swoon, or do whatever and you’ll be alright.

Yes I’m a Motörhead fan now, I wish I got into them sooner, but I’m here now and that’s what matters. So, I guess it doesn’t matter if I like the frontman, even if he’s no longer around. I can imagine what I like, listen to their music and continue to live my life. As he said:

Have fun, don’t hurt each other, and screw politics, okay? Then you’ll be alright. Believe in rock n’ roll. That is the only religion that never lets you down.

Thanks for the advice from above Lemmy, love you.


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