Why is April always a challenging month for me? It seems there’s always a misfortune or two that happens in April, like last year my cat died and then I had to change jobs and now this year, well there was the whole damn story about my Instagram being hacked and my decision to leave the app after little to nothing was done to help me secure it.
Then I had some challenges at work and every time there is an issue at work, it always seems to be social-related and it makes me wonder if it’s because of my ASD or did I just run into the wrong people?
Anyway, I didn’t want to cancel this month’s post this time because music was one of the only things that kept me sane.
Rammstein – Amerika
I found out about this song when THQ Nordic released the first trailer for Destroy All Humans! 2: Reprobed, a remaster of the original. I finished playing the remaster of the first game and it’s lots of fun. I didn’t enjoy all of the missions, especially the ones where I have to be stealthy, but it’s a hilarious game and I love rampaging around and killing humans as Crypto for the hell of it!
This song plays during the upcoming remaster’s trailer and I just thought it was cool and funny, it’s not the first time THQ has used a Rammstein song for DAH, spoiler: Crypto is a Metalhead! I have heard a few Rammstein songs before, but I like this one the most, it’s like the lyrics are still in German but there’s even a little English to it as well and it has a great guitar solo too.
Breaking Benjamin – Defeated
When I listen to this song, I think of myself falling down and picking myself up again, no matter the situation. When the hack first happened, my anxiety was in a terrible state. Not only did I lose sleep and my appetite but I also got sick of people asking me if I took all the security precautions to get back in and stay in, because my answer was always the same: YES I did, and yet the hacker still somehow managed to kick me back out.
I felt defeated, but I made myself step away from the situation and realized I was not, I still had everything else in my online presence that I could use to warn people. It’s not like every part of me was stolen, just one small thing. I stand alone, no longer defeated as the song’s lyrics imply.
This is a very empowering song that you can get back on your feet, you only have to push yourself to do so. This band has always been good at motivating me to do just that with their music.
Gareth Coker (feat. Aeralie Brighton – The Spirit Tree
Because I beat Ori and the Blind Forest this month, I have to add this to this post. The first track in the game I came to love the most, when I made it to the Spirit tree for the first time.
This track is so serene and beautiful, it soothes my anxiety, calms me before I go to bed, every time I pass the tree in the game, I just want to stay there and listen to the score and let it absorb me. Goosebumps are one thing, but have you ever heard a sound so beautiful it makes you cry? If both those things happen then I love it with all my heart and soul. I do wish that at the end of the game there was some grand finale where you return to the tree and climb it to put Sein back, but then again Kuro wouldn’t have redeemed herself!
Kelly Clarkson – Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You)
Another song about picking oneself up again and I feel this is me in the aftermath of the hack. I’m still alive and I’m not bleeding. My anxiety tends to make me turn a molehill into a mountain, though it still feels like something large because of Instagram disabling the new account I tried to make and no longer responding to my request which ultimately led to me taking the remaining account that I used to promote things for this blog, down.
Cutting back on social media this way, has made me evaluate what’s most important to me in life? Do I have to constantly be up to date with everything celebrity crush A and E are doing and have numerous status/photo updates? Or do I care more about keeping in touch with friends near and far, even if Snapchat and Facebook is the only way? I think the latter now is the most vital. I forgot I had my Snapchat account and was happy that I managed to log back into that without any issues!
So this song is definitely me right now and it fits the situation perfectly like a glove.
Christina Aguilara – What a Girl Wants
A song I heard at work, I didn’t realize it was Xtina singing there. It sounded like someone else even if I couldn’t pinpoint who it was.
She looks so young in this music video and a lot of her songs are very catchy. There are all these pop artists that have been around forever and nothing from today compares to what these artists have released. That’s why I find myself listening to older pop music more than the recent stuff. I just enjoyed hearing this at work and would sing it to myself if I was out walking.
It’s a dance tune without having a dance instrumental and no chorus at all like today’s music that I’ve seen. There’s no personal connection to it or anything that made me choose it, I just enjoyed listening to it.
That’s it for this month. I hope that May is better for me professionally and personally.