Falling for and Dreaming about a Villain

I have a lot of fictional crushes, but most of them are on the good side, or they used to be evil but turned good. But after playing through Halo 4 a few times, I suddenly developed a soft spot for the villain in the game: Shadow of Sundered Star a.k.a the Didact or Ur-Didact

The truth is, I used to hate him. But that eventually changed, after I decided to find all the terminals in the game. I watched the videos and literally got absorbed when I started to learn the Didact’s backstory. It was extremely interesting, and at first I didn’t understand what was going on. Before finding the terminals, I remembered I was way too confused what the Didact was up to, but the Librarian helped me fill in the pieces. But the terminals were the tipping point for me.

First I discovered that he was married to the Librarian, and my mouth fell open when I learned that. How would that marriage even work out? Those two don’t have a lot in common; she’s humanity’s protector and he’s humanity’s worst enemy. I’m still trying to figure out why they married, but I look at those two and they don’t seem to be in love. One time you see them embrace but that’s all, I think the Librarian was more attached to the relationship until she discovered the Didact’s plans and had to stop him. When he was imprisoned in the Cryptum I was like, okay are you two divorced now? If I was the Librarian, I don’t think I could love the Didact after discovering his plans.

Not only that, I didn’t realize how desperate he became to stop the Flood. He went as far as to experiment on himself to gain immunity to the parasite.

I didn’t recognize him at first. This is apparently what he looked like before those failed experiments. But he looks quite handsome to be honest. However, his new look, I found to be attractive too, but it’s what’s inside that matters.

After learning the basics of the Didact’s backstory, I became even more curious, so I plunged deeper. I started reading the Forerunner series and reading his backstory on Halo Wikis. Everything I’ve learned is on there, so I’m not going to paste it on here. Inside I had this belief that, not only is he an interesting character with a rich history; but I have sympathy for him, I believe there is still good in him. I think what he has done is truly merciless, but he is the first villain that I think could redeem himself. He’s one tough motherfucker, so I don’t think he can be killed that easily. Remember, he used to be a great leader in the Forerunner military until now. 

So how did love follow? I think it was that, I thought he still had good in him. Even if that never happens, in my heart it does. I love him also because even though he’s so serious all the time, I’ll bet he could be really affectionate at times. I can just picture it. Other than that, it’s just another fictional love that I really cannot explain. He’s just a badass character with a great backstory. Oh, and he has the same voice as the Reaper Harbinger! What do those characters have in common? They take control of their minions. 

I think I went a little too far with my interest in the Didact, far as to start writing fanfiction and buy an action figure of him.

My early Christmas present this year. I saw him on eBay, and by then my love for the Didact was just right at the time. I thought, why not bring him home? I was afraid he wouldn’t come home in time, because I was going away on the 27th but he arrived on the 23rd. I brought him inside, got him out and was so happy. Early Christmas presents always bring me joy. He’s an awesome figure, and I suggest him to any Halo fans who like to collect. He’s totally poseable and just badass in general. But I love my dear Didact in my room, and yes he behaves himself. There’s nothing for him to compose anyway.

I also wrote a song for him, and it’s about being his prisoner, but I discover the good in him, and vow to unveil it. At the same time I love him, and don’t want him to carry out his plan to compose humans to his war machines. So, I’m writing a story based on that, and I don’t give a shit if I use self insertion for the 5th or 7th time on Wattpad. These are my stories and I’ll write whatever the fuck I want.

Last night I had a dream about the Didact, and I’m surprised it happened so quickly. I remember in the dream, a group of Watchers carried me to the Didact’s ship Mantle’s Approach. I came into the room, and found the Didact on the floor naked recovering from battle wounds. I knelt by his side and he looked at me. He seemed relieved to see me, but he desired to be alone so he could recover. I left him for the moment. It seems that in this dream, he and I were already close. I loved him and I wanted to tell him soon. I decided to wait until he had finished recovering. I stood by one of the windows on the ship, and then he came into the room wearing his armor. But before I could speak he spoke first, and held both my hands. It happened so fast in the dream that I don’t even remember his words. Then he kissed my forehead and my lips lightly. Then I said I felt the exact same way, and then he wrapped his strong arms around me and we shared a long passionate kiss by the window on Mantle’s Approach. I almost cried when I woke up from that dream, so I have to write about it here.

I have so many fictional loves, I will eventually lose count. It doesn’t matter what side they’re on, good or evil. The Didact may be evil, but that doesn’t mean I can make him good again in my heart. I love you my Shadow of Sundered Star.

Well, I better wrap this up it is New Year’s Eve after all isn’t it?

-Emily